Today has been a horrible but eye opening day. Mostly, one of gratitude!
For the last 3 days Harry has been clinging to my leg, moaning, crying . . . it’s been a little frustrating. I’ve been trying to figure it out . . teething? Don’t think so. Moms head not here . . maybe! You see we’re relocating to Dublin in July – an exciting, challenging, daunting but liberating feeling. You know when you read those motivational posters, something along the lines of, “Life begins at the end of your comfort zone!” – we’ll, we as a family have kind of been seeking that – and an opportunity came, through a job offer for my husband. So we’re off on a little adventure! (in July!!!)
Anyway, to get back to Harry, I guess I’ve not been as conscious with him, with my head going through all the check lists, “what if’s” etc . . So I’ve really been trying to have intentional time with him in the afternoons, reading, playing etc ..
Still, he’s been very clingy, moaning . .
Today as we came in from attending to a courier, Harry ran ahead of me into the garden, I was putting my parcel down on the table and shuffling a few things around, my eyes on Harry’s movements, my head far away in thought again . .
In the flash of a pan, Harry fell in the pool. Obviously we have a pool net on, but it was still the most horrific experience – my head is just going to all kinds of dark places . . . Feeling a little rattled. Phew!
All I can do is thank God!
Strangely though – I have immense gratitude for this experience. It just puts life into perspective. completely obvious I know! But Ive been struggling with, “What is my parenting style?” / What do others think of my parenting style . . WHO THE HELL CARES! Harry needs his mom, her love and for her to be conscious in his moments of developing into a little person. The tantrums, the frustrations and the testing . . . it’s all for our attention, approval, establishing boundaries and really just seeking our love. Love is all that matters! When Harry’s the slightest bit mis, he’s in our bed, I love it!! And I’m not going to feel guilty about it anymore! He sleeps fine in his cot – but from time to time when he’s scared/sick/mis and craves a little love, we put him in the middle- I guess I kind of enjoy him needing me. (Haha very different to the leg clinging !!) And of course when he rolls my head over in the morning and kisses me. *melt*
And of course there is discipline and manners and not letting them get away with anything, but usually when there is drama, it’s when mom is not around! I read a great article on that here!
Never has it rung so true today – when people say “The dishes can wait”, “They grow up so fast”. As my mom always says, “Before you know it, he’ll be sitting at Forries and you’ll be worrying how many beers he’s having”. One day he will not need me so much, not want to kiss me so much and definitely not want to be in my bed! 🙂 Today taught me how precious and fleeting life is. It’s something we know already, but today, I really felt it!